The Glory of God shows all around us. Everywhere we look, everything we hear, everything we touch is made to bring glory and honor to Him. Deep down inside my soul I know that statement to be true. Within my very being I know that God created everything that I experience. I know that He created me in His image. I was put here on this earth to glorify Him. From within my soul, I know that God loves me just as He loves each of you.
But I am human. I have a human mind and I look at things from an earthly perspective. I can’t see things the way that God sees them. I can understand things the way that God understands them, so many times I fall short of bringing glory to Him.
As we go through life and face hardships it is difficult sometimes to see past the world right in front of us. It is hard to imagine what purpose God may have in our lives for us. It is a struggle to maintain our focus on Him.
During this past week, I must admit that I have struggled. I have wondered what God has in mind for me. I have fought away thoughts of anger, thoughts of fear, thoughts of regret. I have questioned in my mind the purpose behind events that have unfolded. I have struggled with maintaining my focus on Him. Once those thoughts enter my head, I try to regain my focus and place my trust in Him. But then the feelings of guilt start to creep in.
Feelings of guilt take over my being, guilt for not trusting, guilt for not believing, guilt for having doubts. Then there comes the guilt for being guilty.
When these feelings start to overtake me, there is but one answer; take it to the Lord in prayer. So I pray. I pray for understanding, I pray for guidance, I pray for those around me. I pray for comfort, I pray for healing, and I pray for peace.
I know that God answers our prayers. I know that He does so in His own way. I tell myself this as the doubts creep back. Then I wonder to myself if this is just a cop-out. Do I really believe? What do I believe? My worldly mind struggles to keep up with these thoughts.
Wait! That is it. I’m looking at this through a worldly mind. I am trying to make sense of things that I cannot understand by using logic that is shaped by the things around me that I can touch and feel. I am trying to shape what I believe about God and put it in my secular mold. It would certainly make things a lot easier if this could be done but I am fighting a loosing battle.
God will not fit Himself into my secular mold. He is all-powerful, He is the creator of all things, He is the great I AM. But He is not going to fit Himself into my nice little box. This is not about me, it is about Him. He is God, I am not. He is in control, I am not. He is, I’m not!
I’ve been going through this entire week my entire life trying to understand, trying to lead, trying to be in control. But I am not in control. This is His plan and I have been given the privilege to be a part of it. It is up to me to surrender control to Him. I need to become His passenger rather than asking Him to hop in and take a ride with me.
We all have doubts in our lives. There are times for each of us when we question what we believe. That’s the way that we were designed. We were designed with the ability to process thoughts and form ideas and opinions. We were designed to think, to doubt, to raise questions. We were made to bring glory to Him.
Are you still trying to lead?
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Kidnapping Jesus
The Fugitive
Like you, my whole life (not must my week) seems to have been a struggle for control. You'd think I would learn but I keep wanting to take back the reins. But it also during those time of "recovery" that we realize how much Jesus really means to us.
You are exactly right. We all forget sometimes and try to take the reins.
I'm not trying to lead, but sometimes I doubt that I am, or even want to follow. But in the end, it's His will and not mine.
It is harder to follow than it is to lead, I think we are all reluctant to follow so that\’s why we tend to go in our own direction sometimes and try to make that God\’s will. But in the end you are right it is His will and not ours that will count.
I have to tell you a side story too. When I was proof reading this post at the hospital on Saturday I got an email. I opened it and it was the post that you made linking to the other blog. I immediately went and read that post. It could not have come at a better time. Thanks.